What Kind of Fuckery Is This?

Halloween 2009 Pics

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:48:50 GMT

Quick fashion/shoe fit help needed!

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:28:14 GMT

I badly need a pair of rainboots, and I'm considering getting a pair of Wellingtons. In fact, the specific pair I want is this 'gloss violet' vivid shiny purple colour, rather hard to find, but the auction ends tomorrow morning before I'd be able to go try a pair on in a store.

I have a pair of rain boots, made by some cheap company, and they are extraordinarily heavy. Also, as with all boots, they gape massively about my entire foot, ankle, and leg since I am so slender and narrow in these parts. I can no longer wear those rain boots as the two times I did, the back of them chafed my calves so badly that they bled and I still have scars from this. A better fit would hopefully make this not a problem, as even rather loose riding boots I have never injured me like that.

Thus my questions:

1) Are Wellington brand boots a little more reasonably narrow than other boots? How much does that little clasp/belt thing at the top allow you to tighten the opening?

2) Do they run true to size? I am size 7 in nearly all brands, and depending on shoe, an M/B to a 2A/AA in width. I can wear most normal width shoes fine, and sometimes AA are too narrow, but in certain things (like my Asics running shoes) the AA works out ideally. I'd wear socks of course in rainboots.

3) Are they heavy? I want something endurable, but not that makes me feet feel leaden.

Thanks in advance for any feedback, my neglected but still awesome friends.

CBLDF's Strangers in Paradise: Parker Lily decant circle

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:45:29 GMT

Ignore, non-BPAL-obsessed folks!

I'll buy one comic book/drawing/perfume set, and decant 20 quarter-imps from the bottle of perfume. So for $29 (including shipping in the US/pp fees), is the cost for a single 1/4 decant of Parker Lily, and I'd like to limit it to one per person.

Please let me know if that math sounds right; I've done one decant circle before (non-BPAL) and I have been very active the BPAL world for over 2 years now; I have lots of feedback on LJ & the forum.

I will order the set as soon as the circle fills and it shouldn't take me more than a day or two to decant these out and send them off when I get them in late July.

Prices update: ~~$34~~ $29 for US/Canada, $30 for Europe, and $31 for Asia/Australia, all prices completely inclusive. I'll post in S&S in a few days when the circle fills paging for payment so I can place the order, but in case a better perfume/book split is determined prior, it's best not to pay me now (though I'd refund you if you overpaid).

ETA: If you have a good suggestion about how to fairly distribute the book or its value, please let me know. Currently, the best idea I have is to sell the book & drawing on ebay and refund you each with 5% of the profit. If one of you would like to make an offer on the book and/or drawing, I'd be open to that option, too, and that would lower the perfume price.

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PAID:

The Problems of My Life

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:28:49 GMT

More emo whining, yay! I am not dead, I am just rather miserable and here's why:

1. Extreme insomnia and its accumulated effects; most of my other problems are linked to this. I have not had a good night's sleep since early April. My sleep deprivation is so severe that I hallucinate mildly (auditory AND visual) nearly constantly - starting at least 3 weeks ago. Normally, I am an unusually NON-paranoid person, but I find myself highly paranoid and simply fearful much of the time. I know that it's the lack of sleep, so I can treat it objectively & dismiss it, but it's still extremely freaky.

2. My pain back pain level continues to be extremely high and difficult (or outright impossible) to control. Of course this relates very much to the above; I can't sleep because my back hurts so much, but the lack of sleep fucks my back up even more, creating a vicious cycle that has snowballed over time.

3. I have to sue my mother to regain money I loaned her that she refuses to pay me. In my current state of overall impairment, it's sent my stress levels through the roof.

4. I have chronic minor injuries or pains of various sorts related to my walking/running, probably from lack of sleep, and due to compensating for the persistent plantar fascitis. I did just get new sneakers which should buffer these issues.

5. JUDDDD really does not like my lack of sleep, and my hunger levels are MUCH higher as a result, which is slowing my weight loss progress and on a few occasions, I've completely fallen off the wagon for a day or three.

6. I'm not how this may relate to 1/2/3,but for 2 weeks now, or longer possibly but that's when I first noticed, I've had constant partial numbness on parts of my left side, which scares the fuck out of me because I had similar (though much more dramatic) symptoms when I nearly stroked on hormonal birth control several years ago. Add in a strong familial (maternal side) history of stroking for extra terror!

The silver linings:

1. I LOVE these new sneakers. I haven't loved a pair of running shoes as much in years!

2. Exercise is the biggest thing holding me together right now, and that's still going pretty well, though I often cannot do as much as I like due to pain/sleep issues. But I am being quite consistent, and my legs are nearly all muscle at this point. I've improved significantly in my yoga, and my abs are stronger from pilates. I feel stronger and more fit than I have in years.

3. I am so thankful for my roommate (and, especially, that he fixed my evil printer) and good perfume; I would be even worse off without these supportive elements. I love all those of you I've been talking to lately as well, of course - and anyone who bothers to read this. Thank you for caring, even a little. <3

4. Many things amuse me greatly every day. Thank God for humour! This sampling of Craigslist FAIL was the highlight of my week.

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

Mon, 11 May 2009 00:09:42 GMT

Sometimes I really hate the pressure of a subject line or title. Okay, nearly always.

Update on the puppies: about 18 hours later, they both found a *permanent* home with a couple who had been looking for some puppies and have rescue experience. They seemed very loving and happy! The puppies made it through the night just fine, with lots of regular eating and shitting and peeing and hot-water changes.

Update on me: Friday night I did this insane Ashtanga video (Lino Miele) for nearly an hour, and it kicked my ass (and every other body part). If you are familiar with yoga, I did constant, quickly paced full vinyasas. That night and last night I walked my 9-mile route, too, though probably I shouldn't have last night, because I started really hurting 1/3 of the way in. Last night I slept for nearly 7 hours (!!!) and today I am in more overall pain than I have felt...ever. Every muscle in my body aches. I can't walk normally. Every motion hurts. My abs hurt, my pecs hurt, my arms hurt, my legs hurt - the muscles over my left ribs (on my weaker side) feel like they are torn, muscles I didn't know existed throb.

I fear doing anything today without risk of injury, even if I could handle the pain (and my tolerance for muscular soreness of this type is damn high). I STILL feel guilty taking a day off (and keep considering a shorter walk). I hope I haven't pushed myself so hard that I'll need multiple days to recover. I took some ibuprofen this morning, but it made me pretty nauseated - should I risk more now? The pain is only worse, as pain usually is at night.

Tomorrow I'm going to up my calories significantly, even though I'm not losing weight as fast as I would like. It's that or lose/not gain muscle, and I've already invested so much into my exercise regime. I'm not rebuilding my glycogen properly, I can tell. And I am building muscle which I'm sure is slowing my weight loss. I need more carbs and I need more protein or I can't exercise this much.

I'm finally caught up on Gossip Girl! I'm not sure how that show maintains the drama level without becoming cheesy or trite - but it works so well, even though it hurts so bad. And OMG, Twilight references! Almost as great as when they played Taylor Lautner's Apologize. Almost.

I found some abandoned newborn puppies in the road out walking tonight.

Thu, 07 May 2009 06:31:01 GMT

One was on the road and then the other about 6 feet away in the grass on the shoulder. They are small enough to hold in one hand, blind, and black (female) & brown (male) respectively with large white spots, floppy ears and snub noses/big heads - not really any snouts, if that's the word. Their umbilical stubs are still bloody, though they do not appear very fresh. I woke up my landlord to ask him what to (and felt terrible!), and he said to take them to the shelter in the morning -but I was most afraid of them surviving the night, however. I took the best pictures I could, holding them in one hand because they're so wriggly.

-a couple hours later-

I received many helpful tips from CL people and spoke to an especially helpful woman on the phone at length (thank you Julie!) who can take them in morning. They are now asleep on top of a wrapped hot water bottle and covered with another blanket - it's also really warm in my house, high 70s. I got them to each drink about 8 medicine-dropperfuls of half water/half whole milk sweetened with sugar, heated like baby formula - so I think they will get through the night. *fingers crossed*

I'll keep feeding them as often as they'll take it and wiping them with a wet cloth, changing the water, etc. I really think they will make it. I am also nearly 100% positive they are pitbulls from looking at pictures online, and knowing the pitbull of a family friend. I will take them to the rescue worker in the morning unless someone can home them permanently and would like them.

Still, so incredibly sad and disturbing. Please keep them in your thoughts tonight, if you're reading this. :(

Pain, but more in the good way.

Thu, 07 May 2009 00:07:16 GMT

In addition to the extreme JUDDDD, for over a week now I've been walking 5-9 miles a day, virtually every day. At this point I should only have to take off one day a week, as I did when I ran heavily. Annoyingly, walking these distances as opposed to running them takes up quite a bit of time, so I haven't been reading much for pleasure and I'm severely behind on my TV shows.

Also, a couple days ago I started doing yoga, along with a DVD specifically for scoliosis that targets my weaknesses and curves. Today I'm really feeling the walking and yoga, with all my limbs and torso aching. I plan to start doing pilates and some ashtanga yoga (my favourite type!) soon, too, when my body can take it. I feel sore, but wonderful. I still have quite a ways to go in terms of my ultimate body/fitness goals, but I feel firmly on the right track.

My diet's been mostly vegetables, fruit, and whole grains with a bit of cheese, nuts, eggs and whey protein thrown in. I don't miss wine really at all, amazingly, though I'll be drinking some in two weeks, and I may stop by this awesome local wine store that has an enomatic (automatic wine tasting machine) and treat myself, this weekend - also, to try all the wines before they rotate them.

I'm behind on gardening, mostly because there's virtually no open sun surrounding my house - I'm in deep woods, heavily shaded. It actually became darker in my house recently due to the leaves emerging in full. Over a month ago I planted herbs from seed, and they are still barely visible as seedlings - whereas some dill I planted from seed 2 weeks after everything else is growing well. I think maybe it's the seeds? They are a few years old, but I'm still surprised.

In my front flower bed things are growing, but not yet blooming, despite the shade: hyacinth, sweet pea, tuberose (I think?), and gladiolus - the latter are doing EXTREMELY well and have shot up like crazy in very short time, so I expect they will bloom first. I got a geranium (hot pink!) pot to hang on my porch/steps/overhang, and I want another matching one. I spoke to someone who picked up some used furniture about shade-loving (or at least tolerating) plants, so that is something I may pursue as well.

ETA: Recently, TWO companies (woot! & BPTP) have accidentally sent me too-large shirts, both mislabeled as smalls! They arrived on the same day, even. *gnashes teeth* Thank god for good customer service, but still - frustrating.

Fictional romance encourages unrealistic expectations.

Tue, 05 May 2009 02:12:07 GMT

Since I am overdue for a public post - as it is, I toy with completely locking my journal, but I'm not there yet - and I took the time to express the following thoughts, I thought I'd repost them here. This is a subject I have wanted to discuss before - it's long been on my running mental list - but haven't gotten around to yet. I belong to a discussion group on GoodReads which focuses on Paranormal Romance (yes, laugh at me, it's a very trashy genre). Another user posed this question, and I found myself answering in length:

I've thought about this issue a great deal, and I think that fictional representations of relationships are hugely damaging for the most part. I truly mean romance in all contexts, from blockbuster movies to much of classic literature, typical 'romance novels' included. So I don't think that reading romance novels specifically has affected my opinions of romance, but I do think that media in general has.

Obviously there are exceptions and I do think there are many examples of very realistic romance, but I find these to be the minority, and I think that they impress less than the more 'epic'/perfect stories.

In particular the idea of soulmates and how heavily media pimps that concept bother me. Along with other rare (or possibly nonexistent) phenomena like love at first sight and perfect compatibility. I feel that media far too often portrays couples who enjoy all of these - EVEN if various obstacles occur.

I didn't read romance novels as a child, but I read a great deal generally. And I would often fantasise about being whisked away by a prince on a white horse (yes, I had very cliché fantasies) to some magical cottage or castle where we would make exquisite love for hours while fireworks exploded overhead from our passion. This is obviously not very likely ever going to occur, not least because there are few princes (and they don't date down, or ride horseback much), and while I've felt damn good from sex before, the fireworks thing is a bit much.

I would say that 'classic' chick lit - Jane Austen et al - falls into this false-hope generating category as much as the Authurian legends I read so much of, or romance novels, or even your typical romantic comedy. There *was* a bit of a rude awakening when I began to experience actual romance and intimacy and I discovered that reality did not compare to fantasy, and while I do in part blame my own imaginative and idealistic tendencies, I still resent media for reinforcing and encouraging them.

I'm not sure if I believe in soul mates - I won't lie, in my heart of hearts I am absolutely a hopeless romantic, despite my professed cynicism - but I think that expecting something of that magnitude is unwise and unhealthy. I think it leads many people to not be happy with what they have and to feel that there is always someone 'better out there'. Any type of serious relationship in *my* experience has involved settling, compromise, work & effort, and while better relationships involve LESS of these, I can not realistically imagine a relationship free of those aspects.

One last note - the depiction of men as more libidinous than women in most media absolutely infuriates me, especially as I have not found this to be the case in my own or my friends' experiences. Libido is not a sex/gender trait; it is a personality trait.

Corporate FAIL!

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 10:05:45 GMT

When it came time to do my taxes (note: YAY for free federal efiling!), I was missing one of my tax forms, which according to the payer had been sent to my old address in Massachusetts. So I called the place up (large investment firm) and requested that they send a copy here to my new address.

Two weeks after I called them, I received an entirely worthless letter informing me that the address on file for me had changed! But I never received that actual tax document I requested. This so epitomises wasteful, pointless bureaucratic tree-killing that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe both.

It was printed on two sides with legal fine type, so I can't even use it for notes. *aimlessly shreds HIPAA printouts*

Also: did you know the state of MA penalises you financially for not having health insurance? Yes, you have to pay extra tax if you make over a certain amount and are not insured. I don't even know what that is, evil pseudo-Communism? Or just typical Taxachusetts?

Tiramisu

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:14:24 GMT

I learned to make an excellent version at cooking school in Italy, and this recipe is taken from our coursebook, with my notes. I often give this recipe out, and yet I've not posted it here. Enjoy!

Tiramisu

300g ladyfingers
3 eggs, separated
400g mascarpone
4 tbsp of sugar
1 cup coffee
3-5 tbsp cup brandy, rum, or kahlua
unsweetened cocoa

Beat the eggs yolks with the sugar, then add the marscapone, mixing perfectly to form a cream. Flavour the cream with 2-3 tbsp of liquor. Beat the egg whites until they form stiff peaks and fold into the cream, mixing gently from the bottom to the top. Pour the coffee into a wide, deep dish and as much sugar as you like as well as 1-2 tbsp liquor. Dip the ladyfingers one at a time in the coffee mixture (coating on both sides of about 20-30 seconds on each side) and place a layer of these in a dish (such as a loaf pan or square cake pan). Spread half of the cream mixture over them and level the surface. Continue making layers in this way, finishing with a layer of cream; you should end up with 2-3 layers of ladyfingers depending on the dish you use. Place dish in the fridge for at least 2 hours (preferably 6 in my experience). Just before serving, cover the top with a thick layer of unsweetened cocoa, using a fine sieved strainer.

Fifteen books that will always stick with me.

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:15:56 GMT

(From a FB meme) Not necessarily in order of importance...

1. The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dosteovsky. This was the book that during my vaguely agnostic period (senior year, HS) convinced me that I did indeed believe in God. It's also one of the best books ever written, with incredible characters. All three brothers vastly differ from one another, and yet I found myself identifying with each.

2. Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell. I've read this more than any other book - nearing 50 times, and I've been reading it since I was very young, so it's been fascinating to see how my perspective of the text has changed with time. I know that this has shaped the way I view romance, fundamentally. And the ending never fails to make me sob for hours.

3. Dialogues on Reality, by Robert Powell. Powell is a sort of Buddhist philosopher, and this book was so dense it took me months to read - unheard of. It caused me to examine many things I had never really considered in much depth, and with nearly every bit I read, I felt the truth of his words resonating through me. I'm still a long ways off from his level of enlightenment, but this book gave me a huge boost.

4. The Last Vampire, Christopher Pike. This is my favourite 'easy reading' book, and this is actually a series, all of which is incredible, although the first book is the best. Pike is my favourite author because everything he writes is fucking fantastic. I also love vampires, the paranormal generally, and SF/F, all of which Pike touches on in his books. Alisa/Sita, the 'last vampire' protagonist, is exactly as vampires should be down to minute details. I also love the other characters, the plot, and the spirituality and questioning of 'deep' concepts (do I deserve to exist? why do I exist? why is there evil in the world? etc) throughout. This is everything a book should be, while still being simple and easy to read.

5. Child of the Morning, Pauline Gedge. This is a partially fictionalised (but heavily researched, so it's not too wildly elaborated) account of Hatshepsut, the only female pharoah, and her life. It spans decades and has the same epic feel as GWTW. Her story is an incredible one, and her character (as portrayed by Gedge) is one with which I identify very, very strongly. I also am an Egyptophile.

6. The Joy of Cooking, various authors. I've used numerous editions of this essential guide since I could read. My copies fall open to well-loved recipes. It's not perfect, but it has nearly everything, and pre-internet it was absolutely invaluable. There's also a lot of useful info about ingredients and techniques. A classic and must-have for all who cook.

7. The Pie and Pastry Bible, Rose Levy Beranbaum. Pastry is finnicky, and this baking book helped me learn and perfect a vast array of techniques. I use it as least as much as my JoC. The pictures in the middle are drool-worthy, too. I love the variety here - scones, pie crusts, tarts, danish pastry, filo stuff, exotic dishes - it's a great selection.

8. The Biochemical Basic of Neuropharmacology, various authors. I actually picked this up for a neuro class, but I often read it for fun, and refer to it - it's great for both. It's not at all like a textbook, more like a compendium of fascinating information. For a good chemical understanding of psychotropic drugs and substances, it cannot be beat. I also love how this book encourages 'big picture' thinking despite focusing on details - i.e. how do different neurotransmitter systems interact, etc. It has taught me so much and every time I open this, I'm off googling to learn more.

9. Ulysses, James Joyce. Strictly speaking, this is not an 'enjoyable' book. One doesn't sit down and crack open Ulysses for fun. It's an intensely cerebral and psychological experience, and for most people - myself certainly - requires lots of reference materials on hand. But the way Joyce explores the meaning of words, their uses and connotations, the way he explores the psyche and all its shadows, the way he finds connections between so many things and draws those connections so brilliantly - breaktaking! I favour a Jungian approach, btw.

10. Chaos, James Gleick. Another book for a bio class (human behaviour/sexuality, of all things!) that radically changed my views. Gleick is a wonderful writer, and this reads beautifully. I'm very order-loving, so I sort of needed to understand the importance of chaos and its relationship to order. What I love about this is that it not only applies to everything in science, but to human nature, and art and everything that exists. This is about the nature of the universe. If I could only give two books to someone questioning the fundamental questions, it would be this one and Dialogues on Reality.

11. The Painted Bird, Jerzy Kosinski. I won't ever reread this, but I couldn't put it down when I read it. The story of a gypsy orphan as he flees across the poor rural E European countryside during WWII, it's utterly horrifying, and remarkable because it's mostly true. The images and situations and actions have remained burned in my mind with incredible detail and it's been over 10 years since I read it. The horrors of which humans are capable never cease to astound.

12. The House of Mirth, Edith Wharton. I love this time period, and the authors who wrote during it, and HoM is the creme de la creme. Highly depressing creme...but still. The social implications (and really, society hasn't changed much) and the gender implications are so powerful; the 'heroine' (or anti-heroine) makes many poor choices, but she's also rather screwed to begin with. I think I identify with her fall from grace/status/power.

13. Arcadia, Tom Stoppard. This is my favourite play, set in England amongst different time periods (which are used brilliantly) and the upper-class. Science! Truth! Time! Love! Human nature! Everything that matters, explored with wit and insight through incredible dialogue and complex characters. Stoppard is a genius.

14. The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson. I don't know how to describe this one - Stephenson defies genres, and like Stoppard, is another cross-discipline genius who knows humans, science, and words incredibly well. The futuristic setting has elements of cyberpunk, steampunk, general SF, and even political overtones. Sometimes I think Stephenson has traveled to the future, or else is prophetic, because he's so highly creative and yet in a way that feels so very real. I can see this story happening, and I don't know if it's good or bad. Speculation FTW. Also, I adore the heroine.

15. Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson. Classic futuristic SF cyberpunk with linguistics and ancient religion thrown in! Wow. Maybe there's some channelling of Joyce here, with all the different elements linking to each other in complex yet stunning ways. I don't feel the same love for the characters here that I do for tDA's heroine, but the concepts Stephenson explores and the semi-post-apocalyptic, highly corporatised future he envisions are mind-blowing.

Go fuck yourself, Apple 'genius'.

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 01:27:58 GMT

Cross-posted from initial wine.woot forum post, my horrible experience today trying to figure out why Yashka is so LOUD and won't play WoW:

Soooooooooo annoyed. So I went over to my Apple Store diagnostic appointment, which involved lugging my 70+ lb computer to my car (which is sort of down a rocky little hill from my house), then about, oh 600 meters (!!!) to the fucking Apple Store, which does not have an entrance near the frickin' parking lot.

I got inside. It was a ZOO. Some people helped me, including one Apple employee who basically MANHANDLED poor Yashka (who, btw, is straight and did not appreciate this cross-gender fondling) and flipped him around and such. I waited a little bit and chatted to some nice Mac users next to me.

Then it was my turn. An incredibly condescending asshole told me that since the Raleigh store is opening soon, they will be closing the Durham store for 2 weeks for remodeling, and so cannot perform diagnostics (which take 8-10 hours?! what the fuck) because if repairs are needed the computers can't be kept on site during the remodel. So he referred me to a generic repair store or in a few days the Raleigh store which is totally out of my way.

I complained that I'd called LAST NIGHT right before closing and they had not told me any of this, and I was EXTREMELY annoyed that I had hurt my back/fingers and jounced around poor Yashka in my car all for nothing. I tried to wheedle some sort of a diagnosis out of them, but no go. After explaining my issues, condescending asshole agreed it sounded like a heat problem or some thermal sensor issue, and I tried to get him to at least turn it on and see if anything immediate leapt out as the culprit - and he told me, "This is a very complicated machine. It's really a pro machine."

GEE, I HAD NO IDEA! Go fuck yourself and die in a fire, you jealous snooty bitch in your hideous orange shirt. How dare you imply I don't deserve/need a pro machine. How dare you imply I don't know what I'm talking about; I've been on Macs for nearly 20 years which is statistically likely longer than you, fucker. Also, I was crying by this point because problematic electronics stress me out more than anything on the planet.

Thanks to a kind wooter with better google-fu than I, a solution has emerged; I just ordered a (discontinued, OF COURSE) fan for my video card, which at this point, I've concluded is the problem - namely it overheating/having a horribly noisy and inefficient stock fan. According to others with my issues, this insane-looking fan is virtually silent and vastly improves video card function. So as soon as it gets here (from Canada, gah), I'll swap it out. Light, at end of tunnel, I see you!

Do you play WoW? On what server?

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:32:24 GMT

View Poll: #1373312

In case I check it out; it'd be nice to know what server most of you use. I'm not hopeful I'll like it, but who knows. Regardless, I feel I should at least give it a proper try.

Dragon*Con

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:30:09 GMT

Have any of you gone? Would I like it, do you think? If I do go - what should I make sure I have read/seen/done by then so as not to be such a hopeless SF/F newbie? Will I be horribly spoiled for all sorts of things? What does one do all day?

The only conventions I've gone to have been MacWorld and Mind States, and when I was younger, a sort of hippie home schooling one.

Happy Beginning of Spring: I bring you randomness.

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 22:09:43 GMT

There are textual and conceptual snippets that have been sitting around in my Stickies, waiting to be immortalised on my LJ, but without any compelling reason for posting. Thus I present these various tidbits of joy/amusement/narcissism for your reading (dis)pleasure:

-Jared Padalecki and I differ by one IQ point. Clearly, we are meant to be together. Mmmmhmm. Also, I trust that FB ads regarding celebrity IQs are absolutely accurate.

-Oh, TiVo. Sometimes I wonder about your 'suggestions'. Recently, you recorded a documentary entitled Hypersexual Behaviour. This was not the first of its ilk. There was also the lovely Crystal Meth Epidemic program a few weeks ago. What are you trying to say, TiVo?

-From Judy Blume's Wifey: "douching with vinegar" = "cunt vinaigrette." HA! Not that routine douching is wise, but if you must douche, vinegar is a good choice and cunt vinaigrette is an *excellent* term.

-"It's hot watching you paw around a retard like a cat with a barely conscious rodent." - Joseph Massey, aka rootedfool, commenting on my virtual ass-kicking.

-"I don't masturbate to pictures or thoughts. It's Mr. Faucet and I and the mindless void of mechanical necessity." - myself, in a Yelp discussion thread about masturbation

The Devil You Know by Liz Carlyle - and you thought Romance was dead!

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:45:09 GMT

I've been trying to review - even if only cursorily - all the books I read, since I read so much and it's a good practise. My latest attempt, free of spoilers, follows. But first, two very excellent & hilarious quotes from the book itself:

"It was hard for a man to seem like an overbearing jackass with a mewling ball of fur hanging off his knee."

"His deuling pistol sprang free, hard, hot, primed and cocked."

This is one of the best historical romance I've read in years. It's also the first book I've read in months that I simply couldn't put down; I read it straight through late into the night. The writing, dialogue and setting are all nearly flawless, and I loved the Hero and Heroine, though secondary characters could have been better developed. Much, if not most, of the book reads from Bentley's (the hero's) perspective, which I greatly enjoyed and made for some exceedingly hot sex scenes. At this point I'm a bit 'burnt out' on romance as a genre; most sexy writing doesn't have much of an effect. I imagine this is similar to porn burn out for men. This book has both enough sex - but not too much - and it actually succeeds in its purpose.

The accuracy of the sex - this is, after all, a rather Puritanical place and time - was spot on, not mere modern romance sex thrust into an older time period. It actually fits the era, and Carlyle uses clever devices to introduce more racy sex. Roughness/passion abound, and rarely is the sex over-the-top; it's just very, very good without being unrealistic. A few phrases bothered me - a bit of exaggeration, the repeated 'plumbing her depths' which in combination with other descriptions reminded me of tongue rapists I've had the misfortune of kissing, some laughable analogies - but the for the most part, the smut evaded cheesiness, and sometimes the hyperbole struck me as hilariously tongue-in-cheek. Bentley is just the sort of rake who's insanely hot - and a little scary, in a skin-shivering, gasp-inducing manner - without being TOO typical. He's a bad boy and love changes him, but in a believable fashion.

In addition to sex, this story has true romance - not common in the genre - which evolves naturally. None of that 'love at first sight' business, though of course the characters share an immediate electric chemistry. Both the jaded, rather damaged Hero and naive Heroine must struggle to make their relationship work and to love each other. As a result, their eventual success is all the sweeter, and the emotional moments in the book truly made my heart ache and leap, without ever inducing eye-rolling. Carlyle tailors the combination of love, romance, and sex to appeal expertly to the female psyche.

I won't spoil you, but the plot mixes predictability and utter surprise well, compelling & propelling the reader onwards. The general premise is a bit shocking - and hot and unique -and most of the book deals with the consequences of the opening event, so even though another major plot point slowly builds later in the book, I was completely surprised by the final reveal, and I've never read that particular plot device in any context. I'm sure it's not unique, but it's very original in this setting and explains earlier behaviour nicely. I'm sure I'll be reading this book again, which is rare for me, especially in romance.

Jeopardy FAIL!

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 06:22:23 GMT

My little gleeful (and not-so-gleeful) notes from the 3-11 and 3-12 episodes. On the latter, J! decided a certain response was okay when IT IS NOT and I became enraged.

3-11
Road rage was an answer, which made me insanely happy. If you don't know, I have extreme RR.
I loved the Etiquette category (and owned it!); I was annoyed that no one knew 'what should never precede a woman entering a room' - but I squee'ed at PERFUME being on J!
On the whole, this game would have killed me, though I got FJ - so did everyone else. I guess everyone has read Candide.

3-12
Dolphin mirror recognition! YAY.
Matt Kohlstedt is hot. He reminds me of David Hewlett. Actually, Larissa Kelly is pretty appealing, too (and damn good). They can both come over right now and we can shag and play J! all night. Mmmmm.
ephedrine != epinephrine ; WTF, J!, WTF. These are not synonymous! They aren't even ANALOGOUS. The first is a drug, the second is a neurotransmitter/hormone. Also, ephedrine was banned years ago, so it's NOT used as a decongestant (any more). Way to utterly fail, J! I lose great respect for you. Think writing a letter would help? Oh, and I am surprised no one eventually got this.

*seethes*

Huh, they're all so attractive!

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 02:25:14 GMT

My first thought as I watched a TiVo'ed ep of Jeopardy! A few seconds later, it became clear why - it's the celebrity version. Truly though, most contestants are unattractive. I am always saddened by how infrequently beauty and intelligence occur in the same person. This is not to imply that all J! contestants are intelligent; sadly not even that is true.

Is is just me, or is the celebrity version also RIDICULOUSLY easy? Do they dumb it down? I wanted to throw my remote at the screen when TWICE contestants got this one wrong (from March 10th episode):

Which is a Renaissance artist: Botticelli, Van Gogh, and someone else very famous and obviously not Ren - WTF, people.

& this one was bad too:

Small weeds that grow close to the ground, also the name of a tropical banana. Blanks all around!

Oh, and from a few weeks ago, there was a final jeopardy that no one got which really annoyed me. No one got Linnaeus, and he was the only logical choice, since it said some N. European scientist along with some other obvious clues. Everyone put Mendel. UM, NOT N. EUROPE. These very obvious fuck ups make me so mad!

Vanity Plates

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 22:22:11 GMT

I find these very amusing, and I seem to notice them all the time these days. More than I did up in MA, to be sure. I try to keep track, so here they are.

DC plates:

LOUX 1 (on motorcycle)
AUSSIE
BLU DVL

VA plates:

SHAKORA
1WEAVE (related to Shakora, maybe?)
RIP LOWL
GRA-MOOD
WOLFIII
IRN HALK
JPN 1606 (probably not a vanity plate but my initials and 6 is my favourite number)
HGHLAND
PRVBS 8
NOLOAN (on a minivan)

NC plates:

DRTIHRI (eww)
COTTUN (related to 1Weave?)
IANNOYU (my favourite)
TLCASAP
FATBOYBP
ZINGBOOM (on an unusual Mazda sports car)
LIG! (you can have exclamation points?)

I had a vanity plate on my first car, but I'm too ashamed to admit it.

Why I chose Judaism.

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:58:06 GMT

I posted this lengthy story in response to a question over on the forums of my favourite online serial novel, and then realised I've never fully explained why or how I became Jewish here. There may be a bit of overlap with history I've recounted before, but I think I keep that part brief.

I was pan-religious as a child, essentially, and to an extent I still am. Religions have always fascinated me. Holy places and houses of worship have always enthralled me. Through my father, my own reading and a great deal of travel, I learned about Christianity, Hinduism, & Buddhism and in my later teens, Islam. My best friend growing up was Catholic, as well, and I would attend church with her when allowed by my custodial mother. When I entered adolescence, I was loosely Pagan/Wiccan for a while and gravitated towards particular Goddesses. While attending my very intellectual high school, I became agnostic, though for the most part I didn't think very much about spiritual matters during this period, at least not consciously. I think that on a deep level, I was actually processing everything I'd learned and waiting for fate to strike.

My senior year of high school was pivotal spiritually; a time of many factors coinciding in just the right way. Spiritual and mystical matters - the nature of the universe, of God, of my own purpose - were perpetually on my mind. A constant stream of thought devoted to these topics ran underneath my more conscious mundane thoughts, and much of what I read in school and on my own seemed to only increase the force of that stream. This led to more explicit examination via self-reflection and discussion with others, further feeding the stream.

Over many months, culminating in January of that school year, I slowly absorbed the wisdom of Robert Powell's Dialogues on Reality - part philosophy, part Buddhism, all mind-blowing. I would say that at this point, spirituality began to dominate my conscious thoughts. I hadn't previously known many Jewish people, but my high school had a fair number of Jews, and most of my closest friends were Jews by senior year. (It is interesting to note that since mid-high school, I seem to almost psychically gravitate towards Jews in great numbers - very eerie.) None of them were particularly devout, though Jews typically have the cultural thing going on no matter what, and most of them had some religious background.

As I began talking to them, asking them what they believed and why, and learning about their rituals (Passover, still my favourite holiday, stands out), I realised very quickly that virtually all of my own beliefs, which I had come to via other religious teachings and my own examination, aligned with Jewish beliefs. It was on every scale, too, from the small things to the great. Everything made sense, everything resonated. During this period, I also read a book that completely convinced me that I believed in God (especially, and ironically, a very depressing passage - the book was The Brothers Karamazov, the passage The Grand Inquisitor). I also knew that I loved religion generally, ritual, structure, history, and community enough that I wanted to join something, and Judaism seemed by far the best fit.

So as soon as I got to college a few months later, I went to a service at the Hillel (local Jewish resource/temple). I had never been to a Jewish service of any type. At this point in the story I always fear being cheesy, so forgive me, but there's no other way I can describe my experience that first Shabbat. I still remember it down to very precise details, like the scent of air in the courtyard, how we were all seated, and the sound of individual voices singing. I had never heard the prayers, or the melodies to which they were sung, or any Hebrew at all. But somehow, I had. It was like the strongest sense of deja vu ever; my soul knew and recognised. As crazy as that sounds, it's the only explanation that makes any sense. It was literally an instant transformative mystical experience. I KNEW on every level right then. There was no choice or hesitation; it just was. I had always been Jewish, I just hadn't been aware of my Jewishness (and as yet another example of Jewish belief so perfectly fitting my own, that IS the view on Jews-by-choice - the soul is Jewish innately or it is not, only awareness changes).

I attended services for a year before I approached the rabbi to begin conversion - a difficult and lengthy process in Judaism, which is exclusive rather than proselytising. It will be ten years this fall since my first Shabbat.

Watchmen fails to impress.

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:21:28 GMT

Since it seems the majority of my friends saw it before I did yesterday, I had a fair bit of feedback going into the theatre, and my overall expectations were quite high as a result. Unfortunately, the film fell short of these. I wouldn't recommend paying full price to see it, personally - I think only very good (or otherwise entertaining) and/or visually impressive films are worth $10+.

My major issue was one of pacing; Watchmen moved much more slowly than I expect of an action film. That's not to say a comic-turned-film needs to be all about the action, literally - Iron Man, the best in this genre IMO, has many non-fight scenes and not one of them moves at the sluggish pace so much of Watchmen did. In general, I don't enjoy what I consider 'contemplative' pacing in film; if I want to contemplate, I'll go to an art museum. Very rarely, some filmmakers can pull it off - Eyes Wide Shut comes to mind - but I've never seen that style work in action films. They should be fast-paced and succinctly edited, not drawn out and slow-mo-GEE LOOK AT THIS THEME FOR MINUTES ON END!

Visually, I was also rather underwhelmed - and I do expect this style of film to be visually impressive if not stunning. I wouldn't have guessed that the director of 300 (which I loved) was behind this. Fight scenes were solid, there were enough attractive people, and certain scenes WERE well done, but I didn't leave the theatre thinking how glad I was to have seen it on the big screen. One thing that was nice about the theatre-experience was the particular audience - very active, with laughter and other appropriate responses to certain moments in film. There was also cheering for the Star Trek, Terminator, and Wolverine previews - the last one garnering a holler from me, too.

I did love (and had no idea beforehand) Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian (yummm!) - now if only we had seen more him. At the start of his attempted rape of Miss Jupiter Sr, I thought the scene was going to be extremely hot, what with JDM being so massive and scary and sort of evil and thrilling, and with a bit of struggle but NOT REALLY on the girl's part, but then it turned into full-fledged assault. I'm twisted enough that I was still aroused, but it could have been so much better. Not that the point was arousal. Rape, or attempted rape, serves its own storytelling purpose.

Since I'm being shallow, I was very surprised by Dan's body. I had written him off as a doughy sort of fellow based on how he looked in clothes, but then when he got naked with Laurie I did a double take. Note to self: clothes can be VERY deceiving. Still not really my type, but I probably wouldn't struggle too much. :P

Dr. Manhattan was sort of ridiculous. First, he had no balls! WTF? And his glaring nudity just felt odd. Wendi, with whom I saw the film, thought his penis moved unnaturally when he walked, and I quote her - 'I don't like limp dick.' He was also far too built for my taste; that degree of bulging bulk is such a turn-off. I was reminded of how much I dislike hugely muscular quads on men. The character was well done, though, and both Wendi and I found the 'working while stimulating' scene hilarious.

Although I felt she was a bit excessively slutty (though I take it that's in canonical character), Laurie mostly rocked. She won the eyecandy award, and she dressed pretty damn well for the 80s, on the whole. I felt a bit awkward watching her sex scenes with Dan - I'm not sure if that was intentional, but I didn't find them very arousing. Instead, I felt embarrassed for the characters. But Laurie herself inspires enough fantasies. I'm so tempted to take a break from my vampire-for-Halloween streak and dress up as her, though I don't think I can wear that shade of yellow.

Rorschach was well done. Adrian was odd - for some reason he reminded me of a Replicator - and turned out to be a nutjob megalomaniac tacky Egyptophile with a bizarre surgically altered pet (Wendi and I were both squicked out by his blue tigerlope). Speaking of gross, there was far too much unnecessary disturbing violence. I love violence and blood - it was very well done in 300 - but arms being cut off, children butchered and fed to dogs, etc is too much. And speaking of too much, I hated how the filmmakers kept shoving the smiley face them down our throats. YES, we get it aready! Learn some subtlety.

Standout lines from otherwise fairly unremarkable dialogue:

Rorschach to the prison Dr (I think): What do you see?
Rorschach to his fellow inmates: None of you all seem to understand, I'm not locked in here with you. YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!
Rorschach, in his journal: Beneath me, this awful city, it screams like an abattoir full of retarded children... (loltastically melodramatic purple prose)

Brief question - SPOILERS FOR WATCHMEN!

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 02:27:41 GMT

Thanks for the damn-near-perfect transcription, beatificdreams!

Bay Area people - an awesome poetry event this weekend in Oakland.

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:30:36 GMT

My favourite contemporary poet, rootedfool aka Joseph Massey, will be reading on March 6th at Studio One in Oakland with Jared Stanley & Donna de la Perriere - at 7 pm. He tells me also that he will mostly like have copies of his first full-length collection, Areas of Fog, available for sale and trade. More details about the reading here.

Joe doesn't read very often, so this is a fabulous opportunity. Not only does he write amazing short & powerful poetry, but he's an entertainer. Hearing him read is not just thrilling, it's exciting and often hilarious, in the best possible way. I know many of you are not far from Oakland, so don't miss this chance. I'd be there if I could (and if you do go and can tape or vid the reading, I'd be very grateful), but alas the continent separates me from my beloved Joe.

Rock it as I know you will, my friend. *prayers and good wishes and white light*

Heroes has improved lately.

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 08:02:13 GMT

I haven't posted in ages about it, but I'm still watching. I haven't felt compelled to watch immediately as I once did, but I continue to enjoy, and it's such a pretty, pretty show (if a bit dimly lit). Eyecandy, effects, music always please me when done well, enough to offset other lacking features in a show.

Favourite quote of all time from the show -
Whiny Luke, while being telekinetically tortured: Why are you doing this to me?
Sylar: Because you're here, and I need to express my emotions.
Sylar may be an evil fuck, and for a long time I just wanted him to DIE, but such a blatant, self-aware admission of sadism thrilled me to the bones. Despite his many flaws and lack of humanity, no one can say Sylar isn't in touch with his emotions. I like him more now that he's so thoroughly villainous, especially when he beats up Luke, whom I constantly want to smack myself. He's such an obnoxious, annoying, ugly little brat.

I got far too excited by Claire/Breather (his name escapes me). Breather looks eerily like an ex of mine - down to the finely sculpted lean physique - and is a welcome eyecandy addition. I seem to fetishise parents finding out about/discussing their children's sexual activities, so that induced some gasping. Mrs. Bennet rocked, and the underwater kiss was so romantic (and clever). I did not expect Puppet Master to show up at the end; what a twist! Does us vs them solidarity override good/bad?

Nathan is finally coming around, but it's a bit late. I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive or trust him again - and I'm glad Peter didn't - but at least I don't want to smack him so much anymore. I do, very much, want to KILL Bald Evil Military Dude. In fact, I can't think of a character I've hated more, or more purely, than him. He makes Sylar look like a hero, and I so wish Peter had exterminated him. He's going to wish he had when he finds out about Matt. FUCK DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. /hackles raised

I'm curious about the matter of stolen powers returning. They all went back into Peter when Daddy Petrelli died, right? But he can't hold on to them? Is the catalyst in him now? I theorised that a moment of extreme stress would coax his lost power(s) out, and that turned out to be true when Peter flew away after being shot - and, his use of that power didn't wipe out the previously held power, so presumably he would have been telepathic while flying. But then flight wore off, sadly. I'm waiting for some epic fight scene moment which brings Peter fully back into his powers. I miss multipowered Peter!

I admire, as always, Mama Petrelli's great composure and overall brilliance. She's always been a favourite character. I'd love if she were REBEL - an awesome idea, and I can't wait to find out who is actually responsible. Or maybe multiple people? Or Micah? I wish they'd bring back Micah. In the end, that's what makes this show for me - the fabulous characters, and so many of them. <3

Six Points Along the Danube

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:16:07 GMT

I renewed my TiVo season pass to Jeopardy! and have been watching again (often while drinking, which is not so conducive to high scoring, alas).

Some commentary on recently aired eps (*SPOILERS*, not using a cut):

-RBC - wtf, no one knew Red Blood Cell?
-there was an Edward de Vere reference! This induced GREAT GLEE (possibly there was spastic dancing), as I am an Oxfordian, and those of us who hold that view get very little press. For those not in the know, Oxfordians believe that Edward de Vere was Shakespeare, not some simpleton from Stratford-upon-Avon.
-a final jeopardy in the category 'world explorers' or something along those lines; I immediately yelled out (prior to seeing the clue) 'LIVINGSTON!', since he shares my birthday. But then the clue had me flummoxed, and yet it WAS him in the end. Bah!

...and best of all, this past Monday's (so, two days ago) final jeopardy was the category 'world rivers' and the clue was 'this river has 4 national capitals'. I knew it instantly because I have BEEN to all of those capitals: Prague, Budapest, Bratislava, and Vienna - all on the Danube. Those first three I visited on my trip last Autumn, and I remember thinking while I gazed at the Danube from all these cities how I'd been to more points on that river than any other. Because not only have I been to those four cities, but I also have been to two other towns on the Danube; Russe in Bulgaria on the border with Romania, and Riedlingen, the tiny town where my bio father grew up in Southwest Germany and where an aunt still lives today.

Yes, I'm lucky. There's no knowledge like experience.