Not ONLY do I believe in astrology (um, and tarot too and palm reading also, I believe in all these things to varying extents, if performed properly by precise and intuitive practioners) - but, I do definitely (and have always) believed firmly in the existence of psychic phenomena. As I mentioned, all paranormal matters have interested me from an early age, and while both Geoff (legal dad) and my mother have a tendency to believe in such things and thus I certainly grew up in an open-minded household, in which my interests were fostered - I also seemed to be interested from SUCH an early age that it rather shocked my parents. I knew things and asked about things which, to their knowledge, I should not have had any awareness of, in very early childhood. Uranus 0 degrees in Sagg, triple-trine Sun, Mars, and Venus, perhaps would explain this paranormal obsession.

I've never had/purchased a psychic reading, beyond the one that was wrapped up in my natal chart when I was 15, and was astoundingly accurate - too eerily, too perfectly accurate to be ignored. I have tested my own psychic abilities (as various paranormal practitioners and general psychically-oriented people have told me periodically that I have natural talent) in somewhat methodical manners - such as card guessing - and always failed to prove these appraisals of others. I do not consider myself psychic, though I think it's possible I could be more so with training (and I think this applies to a great many people).

I have had a few prophetic dreams, and with certain people, I often seem to be able to read their thoughts or predict what they are about to say. The former I attribute to divine knowledge - I think while dreaming, our subconsciouses are closer to God/the Whole, and thus we are closer to omnipotence, and knowledge and insights not normally available to us can bleed into our dreams. But this is no special ability - I think everyone has this, though perhaps some more than others. The latter I attribute to having a great deal in common with the people in question, and a good sense of intuition. I trust my intuition utterly, and it's never let me down. I think this in ways comes close to psychic abilities, but I think it probably results from a very observant subconscious and strong sense of empathy, and not necessarily any divine or paranormal ability.

Psychic phenomena don't contradict my religious beliefs, as a friend just mentioned in a comment to my previous entry. I'm not sure what Jews think about psychics, but personally I believe psychics have access to essentially divine knowledge, as God is omnipotent, so tapping into God's database allows them the insights they have - why or how they have this ability, I don't know - but it fits into my spiritual views well enough. While I have no doubts spiritually, it is an unexplained phenomenon SCIENTIFICALLY, but we've already established that I don't *need* to have proven ground to believe, just something logical I can cling to. I sort of lump psychic powers (along with things like telekinesis and such) into the 'unused parts of the cortex' theory - people with such abilities are just using more of their brains, more of their energy.

On Thursday and Saturday, just passed, my mother had two different psychic readings. While they were about her primarily, both psychics offered snippets about me, my brother, and my bio dad. Both psychics, from what my mother told me of their readings, seem to posses notable talent, but especially the latter who was uncannily precise (she started the reading talking about a sparkling yellow canary, and my mother had just received a handblown glass yellow canary as a gift from her sister in the mail - that's pretty fucking amazing psychic ability if you ask me!). So here's what the psychics said:

Psychic #1 said that I was psychic (and my mom too), brilliant, and would excel in my life endeavours. She also said that I would marry very soon. All very positive things, indeed, that I would greatly like to believe. All that she said about my brother was negative, btw.

Psychic #2 also said that I was brilliant (and this time, my bro too), and that I was very much like my mother (also very true, both in personality and in our skills; we both write and teach, love travel and adventure, are extremely critical and judgmental - I could go on and on). So, here's to hoping I'm actually brilliant, whatever that means.

Cailin, how much are Yasmina's phone sessions? I'm seriously considering a consultation of my own at this point.

Yeah, I've been hiding in hot, humid, dark little cave of an apartment. And now I know why! Why I have such hermitlike (or 'ignoring or escaping reality', to put it less euphemistically) tendencies, that is.

So, as I've said before, I have mixed feelings when it comes to astrology. It's always intrigued, and full chart analyses (I've had two) were especially mind-blowing, particularly the one done by a psychic who predicted certain very specific and rather odd (certainly to tell a 15 year old girl) events in my life, which have since come true. I really wish I could get another reading from her, but she died of some horrible form of cancer a few years ago. :(

But...it doesn't have much scientific evidence. Yes, I'm prone to believing in the paranormal, as my childhood collection of Time Life Mysteries of the Unknown, obsession with similar tv shows, books on magic and fantasy and now scifi, love of unicorns and fear of aliens, etc all attest to. Plus, early unprovoked spirituality - which is certainly the greatest manifestation of pure faith. But that's always been a weird thing for me; I love logic and I love faith and both drive me.

I admit there is no solid scientific explanation for astrology, though I have my own astronomical theory which, while unproven, at least makes reasonable logical sense and it's enough combined with my own anecdotal data to at this point, believe fully. Yup, fully. With the help of The Astrologer's Handbook, I analyzed my own chart in depth, something I had never done before. And it was immensely accurate and enlightening and completely convinced me as to astrology's verity.

It's definitely a pretty dense book and not really for beginners, which I mostly am, if on the tail end. I do think that astrology, while being a science (in my mind) is also an art and requires a good bit of intuition. I know myself adequately to place the various details of my chart in context. I think I'd be able to do so with my friends, too, and this is part knowledge but also part higher-level intuition. At this point I want to get my bearings on the basics (I had no understanding of such things as houses or dispositions, for example) by doing my friends and relatives charts, and then I'll start doing people I barely know, which will be more of a challenge. I think I learn best by doing, and I want to understand more.

For those of you who ARE astrologically learned, help me with this:

( Read more... )

I found this phone message left by some dude who's pursuing a chick, which is most likely staged/fake because it's just TOO good, absolutely hilarious. I don't even know where to start. It's such a great insight into NY dating, too. The business card! I guess my favourite part though is the absolute irony of 'Only if you are psychologically NORMAL and not on ANY MEDS.' Are you kidding me? YOU should be on meds.

I prefer thinking of it as a special power, as opposed to severe insomnia. I have some random pics to share of amusing things:

( You know you want to. )

I cry so easily. In a good way, generally. Feeling anything is better than feeling nothing at all. You should see me with movies though, I'm like a fountain - good lord, no wonder I have such terrible permabags underneath my eyes. I laugh in equal measure, at least.

My friend and neighbour Susan had a rental of P.S. I Love You, a romantic comedy (um, not sure about the comedy...) featuring BOTH Gerald Butler AND Jeffrey Dean Morgan (and James Marsters but he doesn't work for me without being a vamp) and I was like - Okay, I am borrowing that right now! Mmm, feel good genre and delicious men, what more could I want? And I seem to have in recent years increasingly gone to the dark side, of towering, scruffy, burly manly men (this from someone who had a Leonardo Di Caprio photocollage in her journal as a teenager). Even virtually, I feel delicate! They almost make me want to have sons (they and A Song of Ice and Fire) - strapping, proper boys. It would seem a shame to have a man like that and NOT produce sons, somehow.

( Spoilers )

I grew up on British children's literature and then books and books a day of classic literature and poetry, with only the romance novel collections of two cruise ships and one rented Caribbean cottage as respite from it all, and then I loved and pursued more classic lit (and in other languages) for years and years, with little else until rather recently. Until later in high school, I had at best one friend amongst my peers; I was unnaturally inwardly turned My family didn't have TV for the most part, and we didn't generally watch movies, other than indie arthouse flicks which I generally found boring and pretentious. Classical music played 24/7 on the upper level of our house.

This upbringing wrought me strangely. Before I left for boarding school, I had already read Gone With The Wind dozens of times. I was obsessed with Romantic poetry (I still am) and mythology. Part of me believed in magic, in fairies and unicorns, and in God even though my mother is a capitalist atheist. There are liminal moments - perhaps more in the past, but luckily still even now - when time halts and the simple, glorious fact of existence overwhelms me. I know exactly how Wordsworth felt at Tintern Abbey. These moments are etched in my memory down to the minutest details; the exact colour azure of a summer sky, the precise shade of wild wheat during Indian summer, rustling in the soft wind, crying bittersweetly atop a man I loved, and more.

For better or worse, all of these things led me to believe that magical, blissful greatness exists. Maybe I would never see a unicorn, that I could grudgingly accept - but true love, FAIRY TALE, love at first sight, head and heart and gut and groin all pounding furiously at once love- that must exist. No one living had ever seen a unicorn, and people didn't even write about them all that much, but people wrote about true love a lot. Possibly, at least in my world, more than anything else. And they wrote about it in ways that were so convincing, ways that made me swell with joy and quicken with excitement and sob for hours. My own feelings, surely they at least were some form of proof?

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I feel incredibly violated. To some extent it is amusing and I suppose oddly flattering, but it's mostly just very, very creepy and upsetting and WRONG. The wrongness of it bothers me most.

Here is the the imposter's Yelp profile and here is MY profile.

Not only did this person steal my pics (including using my main profile pic as her/his/its main profile pic) and MISLABEL most of them, this person stole my profile DETAILS including my LJ. At least the reviews are not mine, but that would be the least disturbing type of theft.

Can I sue? I've already contacted the folks at Yelp, but I want REVENGE and JUSTICE.

WTF is WRONG with people? It's probably a hideous, pathetic MAN.

ETA: Yelp folks took the profile down (yay!) but I did archive it first, see the last 4 pics in my gallery page over here.

So, folks, I think I would have actually won today's show, had I been on it. This gives me great hope! As I generally do not think I am a consistently good 'player' as it were; I know virtually nothing about sports, geography, politics, modern history (post 1600ish), pre-80s popular music or films, celebrities or most TV shows, or business. These are simply too many categories to be so sorely deficient in.

( Read more... )

Aaaaaaaand I was jumping around whooping for joy because I was the ONLY one to get final jeopardy (which I virtually NEVER get) tonight! Woo hoo!

A fucking cockroach the size of an ipod mini just crawled across my floor, TWO INCHES from my foot.

I am not generally squeamish about creatures beyond spiders, leeches, and slugs, and I've killed two 'baby' cockroaches, but this thing was bigger than ones I've seen in AUSTRALIA, known for its ginormous roaches.

I screamed in a blood-curdling manner repeatedly. I chased after it and smashed it with a massive candle, then sat down, felt crawling on my foot psychosomatically, and screamed some more.

:(

Yeah, I suck at titles. I read Kurt Vonnegut's Galapagos the other day; I had picked it up cheaply at a thrift store. I've actually only read two other novels by him - Timequake which is my favourite, and the classic Slaughterhouse-Five. I like the latter the least, primarily because I strongly dislike WWII and find it to be an immensely boring time period. But Vonnegut always pleases with his quirky yet incredibly readable style, broad range of trivia and knowledge, absurd ideas and creative chronology. I like that I can read his books easily, as I'd read much 'trashier' texts, and yet they somehow still feel (and are) proper 'literature' by virtue of how well crafted, utterly creative, and unique they are.

Clearly, I should read more Vonnegut, especially as he is Cari's favourite author, and they're quite fast reads. Galapagos covered, as you might guess, evolution, a beloved topic of mine. While verging on some sort of fantasy/scifi/nonreality, I found the premise and general plotline perfectly plausible. I laughed at the many absurdities (simultaneously bizarrely erudite and detailed) and found the characters very real, particularly Mary Hepburn to whom I most related. I did find the narrator's (but really Vonnegut's) persistent cynicism in regards to human nature rather depressing and excessive, and the 'big brain' stuff was a bit repetitive. But, overall enjoyable and I learned three new words.

Much, much less enjoyable was the 1961 Mexican production The Invasion of Vampires which TiVo wishlist recorded for me. In fact, it bored me so horribly I was unable to finish it. I generally do not like older films much - I just prefer the style of more modern (80s onward) filmmaking - and this was visually unpleasant, poorly written, acted, and directed. At times the dialogue was so ridiculously blunt and deadpan (especially from the main 'hero') it was laughable, but not adequately to make the film watchable. The music was also dreadful, the story entirely unoriginal, and there was almost no one pretty to look at (yes, I am shallow), nor any good scenery (not that much could appeal in grainy black and white).

Lastly, in my attempt to make a decent title for this entry the 'victory' portion represents my virtual score in Jeopardy on Friday - which would have been $18,200 going into final jeopardy (which I would have then all lost because I would have bet it all, erroneously, on Nader). I don't usually do so well and of course, I'm sure I'd be much more anxious and slower were I ever on the show. But, the categories were good this time; as highlights, I got 4/6 in Words, Classical Music, Crossword 'S', and 3/6 in Beer, Congress, and Two Types of China. I was shocked that no one got 'Spectres, or the liquors they might drink' in Crossword - which they even gave you # of letters for! - i.e., 'Spirits'. Maybe no one knew what spectres are, or spirits is more of a Britishism? I was also pleased that reading Henry James paid off and I was able to remember the very, very obscure detail that came up in the China category.

My sleep schedule's been wildly erratic (not good for me) with a return of insomnia, my pain level has been off the charts, I've been in hermit-OCD mode, I'm STILL not caught up on a tremendous amount of work, and a heatwave suddenly hit NYC. I'm severely unhappy with my bingeing as of late and my body's current state, which makes me never want to leave my apartment or interact with anyone like EVER. Immense amounts of laundry and cleaning and arranging finally reached an end, which have eased my general unhappiness and anxiety somewhat, but I need to be fit and in control of my body again before I can truly enjoy socializing in 'real life'. How pathetic.

So, I apologize for having effectively dropped off the face of the planet, and I'm trying to catch up and return to normalcy (and a pain level that allows me function consistently). The good news is that after 2 weeks of back-and-forth with CVS (which SUDDENLY stopped carrying the special-order brand of morphine I require), I was able to find a pharmacy (I've now called about, oh, fifty pharmacies around town) which carries the brand - they even had the full huge amount IN STOCK! - for only $9 more. Since narcotic scripts expire after a month, it was in the nick of time, too. A relief indeed.

To further lighten this post, I must say arranging my bookshelves, which I never did since moving here, has made a tremendous difference. My friend Susan came over and thought I actually had a NEW BOOKSHELF because of how much neater and more open and pleasant the entire space now seems. Sadly, I have about 12 boxes of books in my mom's house, and then there were at least one and half times that many that I lost in a move in 2002, so I have by no means my full collection, but I do live in a tiny studio.

( Should you care about the contents of my bookshelves in rambling detail. )

In preparation for Indy 4, this past week I watched all previous three films (on DL dvds which were EXCELLENT quality on my now-great setup, I might add). I do not believe that I had ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I think may actually be my favourite - it's closely tied with The Last Crusade.

( Spoilers and incoherent rambling about Harrison Ford's body. )

As for the most recent film, which I saw in the Regal near Times Square (definitely the best theatre I've been to yet, and we had PERFECT seats and it also has THX I believe), I was quite pleased with it. I do prefer the first and third films, but I liked it more than ToD.

( Spoilers, less drooling this time. )

LE 5mls:

( Read more... )


GC 5mls:

( Read more... )

Imps & Decants

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Meme from sweetbalm. X = seen, italics = to see.

( Read more... )

I'm arranging my bookshelves, and there's this stack of random DVDs and CDs. In it, I found a mix CD with my name on it, and a handwritten track listing.

It's Ryan's handwriting.

Some of these songs DIDN'T COME OUT until after his death.

He never made a mix for me; it's not the sort of thing he'd do. IT'S HIS HANDWRITING.

This is SERIOUSLY freaky! It's mostly really good stuff, though I don't recognize it all. Stuff I got into this past year and really started to like (see: Imogen Heap). WTF.

This was filmed on my block. As in, within viewing distance from my apt's windows. Sadly, this theatre does NOT have stadium seating, so I usually go to uber-expensive Regal three blocks away. I am such a lucky, lucky girl.

Also, that British dude is hot and sort of funny!

Other awesomeness:

1. I finished my decant circle, and mailed everything off this morning. It took AGES.
2. I've already eaten an almond croissant, a whole wheat apple cider donut, a vanilla greek yogurt, 2 cups of coffee, 2 wheatabix w/ milk, and a chocolate covered pear and ginger cookie (all organic except the donut). Egads. This is why I should not go to the farmer's market first thing.
3. My friend arrives TOMORROW! It's been nearly two years since I last saw her. Too long.

I am sleeeeeep deprived and I still have SO much to do today. Bah. I really need to properly arrange my unkempt bookshelves and make sure my friend has room for her bags and such, and I need to mop, and do two loads of laundry. And pick up my meds. AND finish this thing I'm editing. So why am I on LJ? Good question.

Some idiot on Jeopardy thought a scene from Gone with the Wind was from Uncle Tom's Cabin. Um, WHAT? Another idiot thought Isis was Hathor (even though the category contained the clue 'is' in the title AND there was a photo!).

Also, apparently I am the only one to realize that both a mottled bean and type of horse = 'pinto' and that Sysco and Cisco are homophones for 2 fortune 500 companies, one for internet and one for food services.

I felt a little bit of glee when there was a ConEd question (which not even the dude from NY state got). But, that's pretty regionally-specific. I wouldn't know what the energy supplier for Chicago is, for example.

Does Robert Downey Jr. have ADHD, do you think? He was so hyper and fidgety on the Late Show. And very very funny. As was Letterman's '10 Things to ask yourself before having sex in a McDonald's' list - my favourite being 'Can I tell my wife I got a happy meal?'.

This thing is DANGEROUS!

I've been watching some TV tonight in between decants. I have NO MORE TV (shows) after the excellent Supernatural and Ugly Betty finales. So I added a Season Pass to Jeopardy. There was some ridiculously easy one that no one got today and it really annoyed me. And then there was a Zoology wombat one and I was yelling 'WHAT IS A WOMBAT!!!' and of course no one got it. Because no one but an Australian would know about different marsupial subspecies!

So then I watched my Jeopardy, and my Simpsons from TiVo suggestions (thanks, TiVo! but please stop recording Charmed), and my TiVo is empty of non-movies. I have actor wishlist searches of Eric Bana (The Hulk awaits my leisure), Keira Knightley, Gwyneth Paltrow (she was lovely on the Late Show last night), Robert Downey Jr. (yes yes, this is all Iron Man's fault, and gosh he's been in a lot of films!)....and I should add others. I have a keyword search of VAMPIRE* (some terrible sounding very long film has been recorded).

Then I was like, hmmm, I want to see The Abyss, so I searched for it under Movies>Science Fiction, and didn't find it, but realized I could just scroll through all the scifi films in the next two weeks, which was semi-fruitful (I'm gonna watch Sphere even though it has 1 star! Hey, the book was good). Realizing I could just BROWSE by genre, what did I skip to next? HA! Romantic Comedy. Yeah, I have strange conflicting tastes. RomCom had a ton of horrible sounding (though very amusing to read about!) movies, but I always wanted to see Serendipity, and I think there was some J Lo film too that caught my eye.

I wish I could do ANTI-wishlist, and my hated actors could be reported. So TiVo would send Jennifer Love Hewitt a monthly update of her number of haters who list her as NEVER RECORD NO MATTER WHAT, etc. This would make me VERY HAPPY. Btw, if you happen to NOT share my incredible hatred for JLH, do not comment saying such. I will delete any pro-JLH comments.

/ramble

I'm back and insanely busy. I have lots of work to do before wenchpixie arrives from Scotland to stay with me for five days (w00t!) this Saturday. I have a ton of new perfume to sniff, as my BPAL bottles arrived with frimps, as did some swaps, a whole ton of TALs, and the Thierry Mugler coffret. I'm about halfway through testing the TM scents - so far I don't like any of them enough to keep. They are incredibly well made, though. So I have to decant all that (130 vials) and send it out.

I finally have started to build up some points on BookMooch again. I sent out the extra copy of Clash of Kings which, btw, I have only about 150 pages left - I decimated traveling to, while in, and traveling back from DC. I have decided to get the whole Song of Ice and Fire series in hardcover because I like it that much, even though Martin has no qualms killing off beloved characters. Then I can buy the new book coming out in October - the fifth, I'm on the second - right away in the hardcover, too.

Last week I read I, Vampire: Interviews with the Undead, an anthology of short stories, and didn't like a single one. Some of them were quite terrible, in fact. I do not recommend it. Right after I finished that and before I started Clash of Kings I read Orson Scott Card's novelization (ha!) of The Abyss, which was actually quite good and made me cry. I found his writing style rather inelegant, but he created great characters and the book provided much human insight, as well as being generally enjoyable to read. I want to see the film now.